rubaiyat

This Universal wheel, this merry-go-round
In our imagination we have found
The sun a flame, in the Cosmic lantern bound
We are mere ghosts, revolving, the flame surround.
(by omar khayyam, translated by shahriar shahriari)

when i am feeling sad and out of sorts, and am home-bound, i often find comfort and solace wandering the landscapes of this dreamworld. And more often than not i stumble on a place that either heightens my mood, or perhaps softens it a bit.

another one of my vices is the irresponsible reading of poetry. :) when in a mood such as this i like to read khayyam because even if it is bleak it is beautiful, and sometimes we need a whiff of corruption in this hyperreal perfect dreamworld. Amusingly enough apparently sometimes people use these poems to tell fortunes--you simply open the book to a random passage and wherever your finger falls will fortell your future supposedly. Unfortunately I don't have Wordpress because there is a random rubaiyat generator you can install.

An old potter at his wheel
Clay and dirt mould and deal
My inner eye would reveal
My father’s dust bears his seal.
(by omar khayyam, translated by shahriar shahriari)

Hmm. not sure what to make of that for today's fortune. :)

the pixel clay juana wears:

antie eyes silent brown by artilleri
hiding in trees sunrise set and monochrome shirt by i love 13
hair rose and ankle straps by gfield
dia de los muertos earrings by violet voltaire
magnolia bracelets and necklace by loulou&co
mary janes by violent seduction
stockings by rotten toe
ratty armwarmers and glam chinstripe skin by nomine
nobara hair by ay.line

at the miasnow store
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Hwang/105...
listening to:
oud play by asoliman

graveyard heart

ah, cutea benelli...she just totally makes the most amazing things...

now perhaps if i can bribe her to make a tiny one to put in the forehead? a la frida kahlo?

the bereaved juana wears:

dollarbie pet cemetery hat by split pea (in the new elliott sim)
peppa hair by diversity hair
cruelty skin and inner graveyard heart by cutea benelli/grim bros
avalost dress by nomine
corded neck corset by ru
murder ballet gloves by snatch
skull ear spikes by mad about
hair rose wine by gfield
mayan dream tattoos (tinted red) by garden of ku
creepy eyes by negriposi

1492

i find myself here, in the second life alhambra, having seen with my own eyes the beauty of the real thing, yet at the time of my visit little knowing its deeper significance. i hope i may be forgiven for it.



i think i realize now the events of 1492 and this place have a deeper dimension that i never really understood fully before. i knew columbus met with the catholic kings in the alhambra before he left on his voyage....in the same room where boabdil surrendered his kingdom. and also in this same palace in the same year was issued the infamous alhambra decree expelling the jews.

this catastrophe remembered, (among others) on tisha b'av. it is early, yet. still too early for tisha b'av this year. the saddest day of the year that i never celebrate...but its the reason i have chosen this place to roam, dressed as an old testament angel of affliction......for the laments and exile and destruction for the moslems and jews. and also the destruction and conquest and visited on the indigenous people in the americas. because i guess the energies that were expended to retake this fortress, never dissipated, perhaps just redirected into different parts of the world...

and so i visit the replica of a place that i have come to regard as the womb of our world. i like to think that all of us, the children of the new world, are the products of the scenes that took place in this magnificent jewel of a palace composed and created in equal measures of beauty and filth, violence and piety, and dreams of paradise....

al-zahra wears:

corvinus hair black by gauze
kaballah skin by nikita friede
cernwn horns by siyu suen
corded neck corset by RU
skull pendant by grim bros
u-sha fantasie outfit & boots by husky gfx

in al-Andalus Alhambra
listening to "todos los bienes del mundo"
a villancico by juan del encina

peregrinations

Originally uploaded by al-zahra

one of the most comforting things about sl i think, is the endless wandering. it seems stupid but for a woman, it is priceless to walk unafraid of physical violence.

and also likewise, in the dead of night, when sleeplessness takes its toll, and in the grip of emotions, unable to release them, there is a kind of comfort in letting the avatar soul wander.

for me it is like descending into the depths of the unfeeling dingy world, a way to give in to the feelings that upset me so.

i went to hangars liquides, a place so very permeated with memories in my own personal geography of second life. it has changed in the time since i was introduced to it.

i used to call it the whispering city, and indeed the sounds there are very much like the vanished nexus. they are not soothing, but more like ambient noises, like the soft whine of a person breathing....like the city itself is sleeping and whispering and calling out in its nightmares.

all what i once knew is gone, and a new face of the city presented itself to me to explore. and soon it will be part of insilico, that wondrous place.

but in the meantime i meant to explore, and i did, finding a peculiar place. the owner was there, and i sat next to him for a good 5 minutes without a response. but he looked very much like a denizen of this place, post cyberpunk....and indeed there is a newness, a different sort of look to the people i encountered here.

mecha juana wears:

sunday out set, paper doll necklace, mad lilly ebony hair, skulls tattoo, and trophy hat skull cake by i love 13
beads and willow smokey skin by eat rice
red planet earrings by spica
64 flour and virgen tattoo by i dont remember
eskimo legwarmers by deviant kitties
synth boots by lazy places
akemi fetish fishnet hose by gauze
flea market bracelets by cake
zydratic complication eyes by tacky star

i am going to have tedi's love child.....

omg. i went to one of those stupid maternity clinics in second life, because i had never seen one before. i was dying with laughter. of all the things in the world to want to replicate here, especially since it doesn't hurt and there is no risk of stretch marks or unsightly varicose veins....

the look on the avatar's face on teh exam table animation was insanely funny. especially since this is supposed to be a "serious" place, but the animations in the exam table were so not serious at all. in fact they were such that i totally wondered how these prim babies were getting made.

and i am sorry but omg the sight of my poor little avatar in stirrups was just way too much for me to handle with a straight face.

on the bright side, i think it did show off these new boots fairly nicely, i mean, if the "doctor" was like paying attention or something.

you know the whole thing is wretched and undignified. in real life it's horrifying, in second life it's just plain retarded. why in the world do they make women get in that freaking position? it's the most uncomfortable thing ever.

and i was also miffed, in this second life clinic they didn't even bother to put posters on the ceiling, so you have something to stare at while being poked and prodded.

this place comes equipped with all manner of things. there is a lamaze room......i can't understand why in the hell somebody would want to pretend to have lamaze classes. and what is the deal with the freaking doughnuts?????

by the way i just have to note that all the cutesy pictures are so intensely stupid. like they are bad in the real hospital, but this one in second life is like a third world hospital or something.....

the labor animations are even funnier. there was a water birthing room, with stupid facial expressions for screaming woman, clueless partner, and vaguely interested in a salacious way doctor/doula/midwife. the same thing was to be had in the regular delivery room.

one thing that totally struck me, is no matter if its real life or not, this whole business is so undignified, so very much like whelping puppies or something.

and the animations have unbelievably stupid and lame facial expressions. it's sort of like the sex ones, utterly ridiculous and completely bogus.

the most amusing part by far was in the waiting area. next to one of those stupid baby pictures was a condom machine. and it even dispenses them too, though i didn't bother to get one.

i wonder if avatar stds are preventable? and how in the world do you put one on the SL detachable penii?

but really, what is the freaking point of having prim babies? i mean, i have never seen one, though i have met a child avatar once, and i just don't get that particular translation of a distinctly messy, animalistic, gross, secretion laden, disgusting but necessary process into second life.

unwed tedi momma juana wears:

fatal rose boots and hair bows by self expressions
dogwitch bra, corset, fishnet gloves and tops, vamp red ultralight by nomine
raven death skirt by needful things
leather pants by digit darkes
aural black hair by gauze
coffee skull bangles and jolly roger arm bracelt by grim bros
skull nose piercing by avz
wild rose necklace by gfield
calavera no llora tattoo by i forgot


at the tender care maternity clinic.

stay beautiful

i wandered the dreaming this evening in this gown. it elicited several comments from people i like and respect. but the most trenchant came predictably from a complete stranger, in a place so strongly imbued with of memory and meaning. i was in the jeweled garden, in the ruins of nexus, the city that i sort of regard as the omphalos of my second life personal geography.



and in my pixel hands i held the city's tombstone and epitaph, my most treasured possession in this world.

she apparated suddenly, falling right in front of me, and in the brusque way of the noob told me that my av was amazing. and then asked for a landmark. her parting words to me were, "stay beautiful." and then disappeared.

if only it was so easy as that, no?

the pensive juana wears:

disturbia gloves, stockings by catwa
audrey gown and hat by alb
blood beads earrings by spica
midnight oshun collar by dark eden
amaya armwarmers and arm belt by gauze
skull nose piercing by avz
dreams noir by red queen
Whispers of Night Deathly F Lost Gloom Stalker